Summer Rejuvenation

Summer is my season. I need it. Completing my twentieth year of teaching in the public school system was like being on a roller coaster that was tied to a tilt-a-whirl both going full blast at the same time. To say that I am exhausted is an understatement. Stepping away from the job allows me to rejuvenate. I need summer for that. Self-care and boundaries are necessary.

Dr. Henry Cloud is one of my favorites to follow on Instagram. His Boundaries book was a necessary read for myself back when I was going through my divorce. I needed to learn the value of the word “no.” I needed to be able to set boundaries for myself. His book helped me learn how to do that.

This school year ended with the reality of summer school. The state and county I teach in made it very lucrative to entice teachers to say “YES.” I said, “NO!!!” I set my boundary. Could I have used the money? Absolutely! But I needed a break more than my bank account needed the cash. I just could not think about going without my summer! Hooray for the teachers that were able to do so! I totally applaud you! I just couldn’t. I felt broken and bruised.

I set my boundary. I knew that I needed this summer especially to help me adjust my brain back to some normalcy. Covid has been hard on me. My medical issues have been hard on me. My school year has been hard on me. Life has been hard on me. Stepping back for the season doesn’t make me weak, it shows my strength. I know my needs.

Rejuvenating myself this summer has been wonderful. Not only has it infused my life with joy, I’ve been able to look at my writing in a more serious way again. I don’t feel tapped out. I feel like a sunflower opening its petals to reveal its pollen filled core.

How have I rejuvenated myself? By doing the things I love with the people I love. Gardening, going to the beach, reading, writing, working on my platform, whatever I need in order to feel like me again. Filling my own cup is not selfish. Sometimes it’s needed.

The best thing I have done this summer is to spend time with my sons. They are on the threshold of stepping into adulthood for the first time. I have loved every minute of having them both under my roof for the short time before they fly from the nest. The arguments are less than they were as teenagers and it warms my heart to hear them playing a computer game together. They golf together at least once a week. They pick on each other and cuss and disagree, but this has rejuvenated me too. Knowing that I have another week with them both here, it’s golden. Seeing the growth that they have both had and the futures that are set before them is winning the gold at the Olympics. I know that they will do well in life. And, so will I.

My household will be filled with a new noise. Silence. Am I afraid of it? No. I welcome it. It signifies growth- mine and theirs. It will take some getting used to, and I will need to set some boundaries for myself because if I don’t, I will sit in the silence without trying to add noise. I have to force myself to add people to my life. I will need to make the effort to add some noise to my silence. In life noise adds color and life in black and white is not as beautiful or as fulfilling.

All of this is why I needed my summer rejuvenation. To process and breathe and sort out my brain and heart and soul. I needed to step back and cleanse so that I could dive into the next phase of my life. God will bring me into places that I have never been before. He already is doing this! I look forward to these “pecans.” May my “pecan vision” be turned on and tuned in- for the best is yet to come!