365 Days

When Michael Phelps was swimming in the Olympics, he always came out wearing earbuds and jumping around. (I know you are thinking earbuds are old school.) Seeing him do this, I wanted to know what his “pump up” music was. He had to have something that was pouring into those buds! Curious, I googled it. According to a source from 7 years ago (told you it was old school), Phelps “amped” himself up listening to “old school Eminem.” How about that? I didn’t realize Eminem had an old school era. If you don’t know Eminem, be careful- he uses lots of cuss words!

All that being said, I have found my own “amping” up song! I was the guest speaker at church recently and the devil was sitting on my shoulder feeding me lies about myself. I got in the car that morning and turned up my “amping” up song and had it on repeat! Everyone knew when I arrived. They just didn’t know I was in need of this tune to tune out the lies being whispered in my ear. The song I listen to when this happens to me is “The Breakup Song” by Francesca Battistelli. 2018 was the year it was released, so it might be considered “old school” by now too! 

Anyway, the reason I love this song and it “amps” me up is because it’s about someone that fear owns. Fear is personified into a guy and this girl is sick of him, so she breaks up with him. The first few lines go like this:

“Sick and tired of being sick and tired

Had as much of you as I can take

I’m so done, so over being afraid…”

Francesca Battistelli - The Breakup Song (Official Music Video)

As the song continues, she is claiming it! She is saying that Fear will not own her and she knows who she is. YAAASSS GIRL!!!! Tell FEAR to back off! 

I tell everyone this because this song has become a mantra for me. I am always having to break up with FEAR! I have written about it over and over again! Stepping out of the boat and faith over fear. It doesn’t stop. The enemy never leaves us alone. 

In 2021, God pushed me out of my comfort zone by leading me to take a trip by myself. It was a big deal to me. I drove to Nashville, Tennessee to Writer's Fest! That was the year my first story was published in Chicken Soup for the Soul and I felt drawn to this experience. I was so afraid. I booked my hotel near the airport because I figured there would be lots of people around and it wasn’t downtown. I didn’t know what the heck I was doing or where I was going. I went because someone told me about Jenny Hale, a girl they knew from middle school who was leading a workshop on writing. I’m so thankful she told me about this because if she hadn’t I might never have broken up with Fear for this trip. 

Breaking up with Fear to take this trip started a new pattern for my life. Solo traveling! It’s something that I always wanted to do for myself. My friend, Karen, travels solo and makes it look so easy! She was my hero for doing this. I never thought that I could get to a place where I could go on a trip alone. My oldest son was in college the first time I stayed in a hotel by myself.

Guess what?!  Every time God offers me the opportunity to travel solo I say yes, but I have to break up with Fear each time. Since 2021, I have traveled solo 2 times on weekend excursions. I have now been to the She Speaks conference in Charlotte, and to Hatteras and Manteo for some OBX time. This year, I am headed to a new place. Asheville and Biltmore. 

Some things never change though. The enemy is already whispering in my ear that I am not good enough to do this. God says otherwise. 365 times he tells us in the Bible about fear. One fear verse per day! Even though I know this is there, I still have to break up with Fear. I let him own me. This is solo trip 4 for me and I am still letting Fear help me plan my trip! I know one thing, God gives me these opportunities and I am supposed to do this.Fear better unbuckle his seatbelt and get out of my passenger seat!

 How do I know these are from God? Because I have so much Fear that I would never plan to go somewhere alone! These ideas basically fall into my lap. Not only do the opportunities happen, but the finances do as well. What the hotel cost I’ve gotten in refunds lately. Okay, God, I hear you! You are sick and tired of me being afraid!

I also think that God is lining up something bigger for me. It’s like He is preparing me for something. If I don’t say yes, I will be stopping a blessing for myself. Something that I really need to see or experience. Maybe it’s just that He needs me to break up with Fear again, so he sends me on a journey just so I know I can do it! And isn’t that a pecan?! I will take it! It is for sure report worthy! Next month, I will be sharing about my travels. I know there will be pecans scattered all around for me to collect and bring to you. Pray for me!