Get Out of the Boat Peter!

Awesome is defined in the dictionary as extremely impressive or daunting; inspiring great admiration, apprehension, or fear. I can say without a doubt that seeing Joyce Meyer was awesome. My #LoveLife19 Conference was awesome. I was reminded of so many wonderful lessons.

"To be a hearer and not a doer is a waste of time."

"Our job is to love Him and love people."

"Are you married to Jesus or just dating Him?"

"When you walk in the truth you are covered in grace."

These are just a few examples of the many things that I was blessed by this weekend. And yes, I have some work to do on myself! I am grateful for His grace and mercy. My toes were sore from being stepped on from the speakers. I know I have issues!

I have issues with many different areas of my life. I get caught up in fear. Fear sometimes rules my life so much so that it freezes me in place. I know that I am supposed to get out of the boat like Peter was when Jesus called him to walk on water, but the boat is safe. When I try to step out of the boat it already feels like someone has attached a cinder block to me, and it will sink me immediately. I know God has specific things He has laid out for me to accomplish. Writing this blog is one of them. I know that the book I have written is another one. The book is written and the blog is started, but now what? I sit down in my boat and keep rowing. I know God is ready for me to step out of the boat, but I keep using excuses to stay put. "My tenses aren't right." "I don't know how to write a query." "I don't know where to start with agents." All lame excuses of mine I use to keep me safe and secure inside the boat. Why do I do this? Fear. I am willing to accept a mediocre life instead of living the life God intended for my to live. How do I know this? Because I'm still sitting in the boat. Hearing it again from someone else reminds me that it makes me sad that I am willing to accept less than Jesus wants to give me.

A few years ago, I heard a message about birds with broken wings. They cannot fly. They can only go in circles. I was so moved by this that I had a student draw a beautiful bird for me that was symbolic to this statement. I even wrote down that my bird is grounded because I know and accept what God is directing me to do, but I don't take the actions I need in order to make my bird fly. This weekend reminded me that I need to find that picture of that bird and I need to hang it up again. I need to see it everyday to take the actions that I need in order to move towards living my best life. Not the one I think I deserve, but the one that Jesus has planned out for me. Oh how my soul longs for that!

Then I have to go a little deeper and try to understand why am I like this. Why am I not willing to take action? I understand perfectly why. Jesus has been trying to heal me for years now. I was in a marriage where I could not do anything right. I was constantly in trouble and lived between a rock and a hard place. I became so used to making mistakes that I had fear build up in me. This caused me to believe falsely that if I take no action, I can't make a mistake. I look at this and know that doing nothing is an action in itself. This is why I am still in the boat.

Not only that, but I am being disobedient to God! He is telling me to step out of the boat, and I know my God has already made a way for me, but I sit here still. Going in circles. Want to know the saddest part? My writing isn't the only place where I do this. I have many of them. That is why I am so thankful that God loves me so much that he believes I am worth it. His grace and mercy cover me like a blanket so that I am forgiven.

Does that mean that I can continue these behaviors? No, I cannot. I have to strive to do better. I have to try to make my bird fly! I have to try to step out of the boat! Even if they are baby steps! Baby steps still move a body forward. I have to remember the lessons that I was taught this weekend by Joyce Meyer, Christine Caine, Holly Wagner, and Dr. Henry Cloud:

1. Forgiveness matters.

2. The devil lies. Don't believe his untruths.

3. Have hope.

4. We need the power of The Holy Spirit.

5. God is looking for people that have a foolish faith like Moses, Noah, and others.

6.Gratitude is your war cry.

7. We must raise our war cry.

8. Stay in rest like Jesus.

9. Get some Holy Ghost Backbone.

10. Don't bury your talent in the dirt.

11. We can't get to tomorrow if we hold onto the past.

12. Prune ourselves of activities or actions that drain us from bearing fruit.

13. Don't go to war without an army.

14. Get out of the boat.

15. Prompt Extreme Obedience.

16. To find out if you are right, you have to take a chance on being wrong.

For me, I know what I need to do. I need to believe that I have no cinder blocks tied to my feet and I need to

step out of the boat. Peter did, and he walked on water.